


At The Edge of War

by sgtpeppersclub



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Canon, F/F, F/M, Fralice, Hate to Love, Hogwarts, Jily centered, M/M, Marauder's Era, Mature in later chapters, Slow Burn, blackinnon, does 16 year olds having sex count as underage? idk, dorlene, i suck at planning so i don't know what the hell is going to happen, jily, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-12
Updated: 2019-04-02
Packaged: 2019-10-08 15:09:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 17,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17388683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sgtpeppersclub/pseuds/sgtpeppersclub
Summary: As Death-Eater activity starts taking over Hogwarts, Lily decides to put down the mystery novels and become the detective of her own story. To her dismay, James doesn't feel like watching from the sidelines, and insists on being a very stubborn, irritating, arrogant, (and attractive) Watson to her Sherlock. Funny, isn't it? Sometimes all it takes for two people is a small coincidence. Like, for example, a war.ALTERNATIVELY:In which Lily Evans' and James Potter's childish rivalry/friendship/love bring a bunch of hormonal teenagers together with one purpose: kicking Voldemort's skinny, pale arse.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Before starting, note the following:  
> 1\. English is my second language. Feel free to point out mistakes as long as you do it politely, thank you.  
> 2\. YES Blackinnon, Dorlene and Wolfstar will be a part of this fic (even though it'll mainly revolve around Jily). How am I going to do this? Read and find out.  
> 3\. Unfortunately, I am not the owner of Harry Potter. If I was, I wouldn't be posting fan fiction but I'd be bathing in dollar bills whilst someone massaged my feet. All rights reserved to JK Rowling, Warner Bros and the respective owners of the Harry Potter World. 
> 
> Love,  
> Violet

THE FLOOR BENEATH HER is spinning. She stumbles over her own feet. Her head is pounding, a sharp noise ringing in her ears. Sweat builds in her forehead, red locks of hair sticking to her skin. Her heartbeat fastens. Boom. Boom. Boom. She feels as though her heart will burst right out of her chest. She wants to vomit. She wants to scream. She wants to cry. She wants to cry so bad. For a second, just for a second, she forgets how to breathe. Tears prick her eyes, threatening to come out. A silent sob builds at the base of her throat. She chokes on it. Someone’s talking in the background. Words folding over themselves, whirling in her mind, an echo.

_What happened?_

A pair of hazel eyes appear in her mind. She knows they aren’t there. Not really. There is no mischievous glow to them, no spark dancing in the iris. He smiles. She feels both of their breaths combining in perfect synch, his warm hands around hers, the ghost of his lips in her forehead. _Don’t forget this,_ his voice is sharp and clear, loud, shattering, _whatever happens, don’t forget me._

Her mouth dries. She stretches her hand to touch him, to hold him, to bring him closer to her. She wants to ask what’s wrong, she wants to demand an explanation, she wants to make sure he knows everything is okay — that she will never forget him… how could she? The words are sitting at the tip of her tongue, tauntingly pushing against her lips. She opens her mouth. Not a single sound comes out. Her fingers skim his face, trailing around the corner of his lip. She feels nothing. There is no warmth, no electrical buzz moving up and down her arm.

_It isn’t real, okay? Don’t believe them. Don’t believe anything they say._

She nods. It isn’t real. It isn’t real. It isn’t real.

“Lily…” Someone is waving a hand before her eyes. “Lily Evans.”

She blinks. The boy vanishes, along with his hazel eyes and his incoherent sentences. She looks around. She is sitting behind a long desk, a couple of messily scribbled papers and used quills laying around. The room is almost empty, there is nothing hanging from the walls, no objects sitting untouched in the corners… only an unpacked suitcase standing right next to the desk.

_What happened?_

“Lily.”

Her eyes flicker to the woman sitting across her. She has dark, curly hair, casting a shadow over her face. Her strong features — sharp jawline, high cheekbones, beady eyes — seemed to have been carved out of stone. Her lips tug into a small smile, but it seems as though she’s mastering all of her force and good will to stop her lips from falling into a scowl.

Her voice rises again, metallic, sharp, cutting through the silence, slashing her skin like a knife. “Lily,” she repeats once again. “I need you to tell me what happened.”

_What happened?_

Lily looks into her eyes. She allows memories to run again and again in her mind like a movie, she grabs hold of every single thought and examines it thoroughly, she closes her eyes and lets the purest feeling of confusion and desperation invade her.

Nothing comes to mind, except the nauseous smell of dry blood clambering up her nose.

“Evans,” says the woman, her patience withering away each passing second. “Evans, are you alright?”

 _Alright, Evans?_ The memories hit her like a bucket of ice. She can’t breathe. She can’t move. She’s frozen in the spot. _Alright, Evans?_

James was there. James was there. James was there.

He was trying to say something when they took him away from her. They took him away. Professor Slughorn took him away. McGonagall stopped her from running after him. Where is he?

Lily finally speaks. “Where is James Potter?” She meets the woman’s eye, a certain fierceness glistening in her green iris. “Where is he?”

The woman shifts in her seat, uncomfortable. “That information is confidential.”

Lily slams her hands on the table, standing up. The woman jumps, startled. “Where. Is. James. Potter?” Her voice is heavy, threatening.

“James Potter is in prison.”

Lily falls back into her chair, eyes wide. “What?”

“He’s awaiting his trial. Once that’s over, they’re sending him to Azkaban.”

Her mouth is dry. It doesn’t make sense. James Potter in Azkaban?

“You’re lying.” A single tear rolls down her eyes. “Why would they do that? Why would they send him away?”

The woman takes out her notepad, staring at Lily quizzically. “Lily, don’t you remember anything?”

Lily shakes her head. It’s a subtle movement, but noticeable enough.

_What happened?_

A new image takes over her mind. A corpse. Was it a corpse? A small girl lying on the floor. Colour drained from her face. Soulless, beady eyes staring into the distance. Black hair tangled into knots. Red paint staining her overalls. A puddle of blood staining the floor around her head.

Lily looks down at her own hands. She had dried blood stuck in her fingernails.

James Potter was there. Why was he there? He was trying to take her eyes off the girl, trying to distract her, trying to comfort her. What was he trying to do?

“There was a girl… a girl was dying,” muttered Lily under her breath, avoiding the woman’s gaze. “And… he was trying to say something to me.”

The woman looked eager as she wrote something in the notepad. “What was he trying to say, Lily?”

_Don’t forget this, whatever happens don’t forget me._

_It isn’t real, okay? Don’t believe them, don’t believe anything they say._

But there was something else. Something that went unspoken. Something that burned at the back of his throat before Slughorn took him away from his grasp.

Lily didn’t need to hear it.

_I love you._

Lily didn’t need to share that with the woman, either.


	2. To Mend a Broken Heart

 

Fabian Prewett’s hands were warm. 

They were walking down the school’s grounds, leaves of all colours crunching beneath their feet. The only sounds surrounding them were the light chirp of the birds, the constant snapping of twigs under their weight and their own giggles. In the distance, the sun was starting to hide behind the castle, painting pink and orange beams over the sky. It was peaceful, Lily thought. Far more peaceful than spending her Friday afternoon in the common room with the rest of her loud housemates. The cold Autumn weather had started numbing the tip of her fingers and  — as always — Fabian had made it his personal mission to protect his girlfriend from the sharp, icy wind. He took her hand between his, and Lily didn’t hesitate to follow his lead. After all, Fabian Prewett’s hands  _ were _ warm.

With his other hand — the one that wasn’t being occupied by Lily Evans’ — he ruffled his hair. A few small, dry leaves slipped onto his coat. She let out a small chuckle and went out of her way to brush the dirt of off him. She stood before him, running her hands up and down her shoulders, a grin on her face. 

Lily Evans knew for a fact Fabian was good-looking. She also knew her opinion was biased, but she wouldn’t speak so confidently hadn’t she heard previous comments on the matter. He was the epitome of a teenage girl’s ideal boyfriend: coppery curls, light freckles scattered over his nose, athletic build and a dimpled smile that brightened up his whole face.

Yet, Lily couldn’t care less what an ideal boyfriend looked like to teenage girls. The day she started going out with him, approximately four months ago, she had decided his (gorgeous) looks weren’t going to influence their relationship. (Even though, to be honest, his smile did influence a little bit). She decided to go out with him for other reasons: because of the listened whenever she talked about her favourite authors, and the long walks he enjoyed to take with her, and the glow in his eyes whenever he talked about becoming an Auror, and the way he always brought her closer to him. 

“You know I love you, right?” he said, his voice low and stern as if he was truly afraid she might’ve missed the fact. 

She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling herself upwards. “I wouldn’t mind hearing it again,” she said, brushing her lips against his. “I love you too.” Her voice barely a whisper. 

He pressed both of their lips together. If possible, he brought her a little closer than before, his hands placed around her waist. Hers, on the other hand, toyed with his hair. Another thing Lily enjoyed about Fabian, besides the fact he was extremely fit and extremely romantic, was his extremely good kissing abilities. Definitely, he was the closest thing to perfection she had ever met. 

“Lily?” he muttered against her lips. 

“Mhm?” She refused to fully separate herself from him. 

“I think—” He stopped himself, getting too engaged with the depth of the kiss. 

Finally, Lily pulled away, struck by curiosity. “Yes?” She felt much colder than before. 

He hesitated. “Nothing… nothing, forget about it.” 

She held both of his hands, a light frown crowning her eyes. “Is there something you want to talk about?” 

“Actually, yes.”  His expression became serious, a certain darkness coming over her face. Lily tilted her head to a side and brought herself forward, expecting an explanation. “How come you are so bloody adorable?” 

She smacked his shoulder. “You scared me, you git!” 

“I don’t know what you are talking about,” his face shone once agai n with that grin she happened to like so much, “I’m being totally serious.” 

“I am not adorable,” said Lily, with both a determined and a joking tone. “Adorable is what you call a puppy, not your girlfriend!” 

He pecked her cheek, as they continued walking. “I beg to differ. You see, my girlfriend happens to be the cutest, sweetest, most adorable girl out there.”

Lily rolled her eyes. “I can be mean!” 

“Sure you can.”

“Excuse me? Have you seen me have an interaction with James Potter?” 

Fabian went quiet for a second as if he were remembering multiple scenarios in his mind, and he chuckled to himself. “I stand corrected.” 

“Good. Not that you aren’t used to it. I always tend to be right.”

“I know.”

Lily smiled brightly at him. She was surprised, however, to find out the expression wasn’t reciprocated. 

“Is there anything wrong?” she asked. “Truly, Fabian, if you need to tell me anything —” 

He gulped. “It’s just, what you said… you are always right.” 

“Yes, I am a vessel of knowledge that shan’t be questioned… we’ve been over this already.” Once again, she got no reaction. Lily narrowed her eyes a little, suspicious at the whole situation. “Fabian… come on.” 

“You’re going to think I’m a git after this.” 

“I could never think you are a git,” she said, partly because she meant it and partly because she wanted to find out what he was going to say. “But, please, stop acting as if—” 

“I think we should take a break,” he blurted out suddenly. 

A shattering sound rung on her ears. Was that her heart? Probably. 

“You what?” 

_ I think we should take a break.  _

He went pale in the face. “That I—”

_ I think we should take a break.  _

“No. I’ve heard it. I don’t need you  to say it again.” She didn’t sound angry, or upset, or surprised. There was no exact tone in her voice, not the usual emotional strain people show in these situations. 

“But… but you asked,” he said, tripping over his own words. 

“Yes. I know.”  _ I think we should take a break.  _ “I just… wasn’t expecting that.” 

“It’s not that I don’t love you—” 

She shook her head. “Don’t.” 

“But I mean it—” 

“Don’t.” 

“You have to—” 

“Don’t!” she snapped. Fabian looked at her, wide-eyed. Lily closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She hoped he didn’t notice the slight tremble in her lower lip. “It’s fine, Fabian.” 

“It isn’t, though,” he argued. 

“It is,” she insisted. “What time is it?” 

“Huh?” 

“What time is it?” 

“Seven thirty.” 

She sighed. “Great. I promised to help Mary with her homework.” 

“But—” 

“I’m off to the common room. Later.” 

Without sparing him a look, Lily turned around. Before she got to take a single step towards the castle, however, Fabian grabbed her firmly by the hand, making her slightly stumble backwards. She couldn’t help but notice his hands felt much warmer a few moments ago. 

“ _ Lily, _ ” pleaded Fabian, his voice overridden with emotion. “Lily we should talk about this.” 

She glanced at him. He looked down at her with glossy eyes full of pity and… hurt? She slipped her hand away from him. “I’m fine,” was all she said before rushing towards the opposite way. 

 

* * *

 

 

“Lily… Lily, babe, what is it?” 

Lily stared into the fire crackling before her. She stared at the blue, orange and red flames intertwining, dancing with each other in the fireplace. She stared at the flickering light, illuminating the whole room, glimmering against the scarlet and golden details around the room. Her green eyes burned, unblinking, a small spark of her own little fire dancing up and down her iris. 

“Lily.” 

She looked to her left. 

A small girl was sitting besides her, her eyebrows furrowed together.  She had long, black hair and thin, beady eyes which glistened under the light — Mary Macdonald’s eyes always glistened, let it be with happiness, hope or excitement. This time, there was a clear trace of curiosity striking her features. 

They were sitting in the middle of the Gryffindor common room, which was (what a surprise) filled to the top with loud, inconsiderate groups of teenagers basking in the glory of homework-lacking Friday nights. Lily leaned against the back of a comfy stuffed armchair, a dark, pensive shadow falling over her face. Mary kept a straighter posture, but still turned to look at her friend with extreme detail. 

“I’m fine,” was all that Lily muttered. 

She raised her eyebrows. “Is that so? Because I could swear I’ve been talking about Monet for the last ten minutes or so and I haven’t gotten one single reaction.” 

“What? I love that guy,” said Lily, with fake interest. “I mean, cubism, right? Didn’t he create it, along with that Braque guy? And… he was spanish! Yes, I’ve read a book about him when I was young—” 

“ _ Lily _ ”

“Yes, dear?” 

“That’s Picasso.” 

“Oh.” There was a slight disappointment. “And who were you talking about?” 

“Monet.”

“Was I close at least?” 

“Not in the slightest.”  

“Well, shit.” 

“Well, shit indeed.” 

“I’m sorry?” 

Mary shrugged, and flipped her hair behind her shoulder. “No worries.” Then, she continued to insist on the matter. “What’s wrong with you?” 

“Nothing’s wrong with me,” said Lily. “I’m fine.” 

Mary grimaced. “That bad?” 

“What on earth are you talking about? I’m fine.” 

Mary opened her mouth to say something, but was interrupted by a third member entering the conversation. A girl with a stubby figure, short dark hair and plump cheeks took a seat in the floor right next to them, letting out a loud groan as she did. 

“Good, you’re here. I’m in need of you two right now.” 

“How come?” asked Mary, briefly distracted from interrogating Lily. 

“ _ Alice, _ ” muttered the girl between gritted teeth. “I swear that girl will be the death of me.”

Mary rolled her eyes. “She’s your best friend, Dorcas, and she has been your roommate for almost six years now.” 

“And I still have almost two years left!” she complained, throwing her hands in the air. “Do you know how hard it is to coexist with a sixteen-year-old girl who claims her favourite colour is glitter?” 

“Just as boring as having to coexist with a sixteen-year-old who has memorized the entirety of the Periodic Table,” deadpanned Lily. “What are you doing here, anyway? You’re a Ravenclaw.” 

There was a small pause. The girl who had been previously addressed as Dorcas, darted back and forth between the other two with her eyes. “Is there a problem here?” 

“Why would there be any problem?” 

“First off,” started Dorcas. “Because I came here looking for your natural, calming presences, not for a sarcastic little bitch. You should know that already. Second, I am literally always here. I can’t even remember what my common room looks like, are you kidding me?”

“Well, you got nothing to worry about.” Lily’s lips morphed into a big smile. “I am fine.” 

“That’s her fourth ‘I’m fine’ in the last ten minutes,” Mary explained. She quickly examined Lily, a worried expression settling on her face. “And now it has moved on to creepy smiling.” 

Lily wiped the smile of her face immediately. Dorcas mimicked the same grimace Mary did a few moments back. “That bad?” she asked. 

“Nothing happened!” said Lily, throwing her arms in the air in exasperation. 

“Merlin,” said Dorcas. “It must’ve been awful.” 

Before Lily got any chance to defend herself against her friends constant questioning of her emotions — which were none, really, she was  _ fine  _ — a black girl with thick, curly hair approached them, performing tiny, excited jumps as she did so. Lily beamed at her arrival, hoping that she’d bring up a something more interesting than her feelings. Dorcas, on the other hand, scowled a little bit. Her daily ‘Alice Zimmermann’ dose had been clearly abused. 

“Hullo, girls. How are you?” 

“Lily is feeling extraordinary,” said Mary. 

“Her light mood astounds me yet once more,” continued Dorcas. 

Lily stood up, her peach-coloured nails digging on her palm. “I said I’m fine!” she yelled, stomping her foot. “Truly, completely, totally fine!” 

Once again, a grimace, only this time it was in Alice’s face. “Adverbs?” she asked. “That bad?” 

Lily groaned, letting herself fall once again on the chair. “Fabian broke up with me.” The three girls looked at her, eyes wide and lips parted. Mary took a hold of Lily’s hand, searching for Lily’s eyes with her own. Lily, however, looked away, three pairs of eyes burning on her skin. “I don’t want to talk about it,” was all she said. 

“But you were… so in love,” mumbled Mary, disappointed. 

“Like, literally three seconds ago,” said Alice. 

“It was so bloody annoying,” said Dorcas. Alice dug her elbow on her ribs, and Dorcas let out a small yelp. “But cute,” she added, for her own safety. 

“Yes, well… that’s just my luck, I guess.” Lily shrugged. “Let’s change the subject, please?” 

“I guess we can talk about it when you feel like it,” said Mary. 

“What?” Alice stared at the both of them, wide-eyed. “No way. We’ll talk about this when I feel like talking about this which right now! Lily you ought to tell me everything!” 

“You aren’t my therapist, Alice,” Lily said, as if Alice constantly forgot she hadn’t majored in psychology at a muggle university. “I don’t ought to tell you anything.” 

“I’m your best friend! If you don’t tell me, then who?” 

“Um, no one?” said Lily. “I’m suppressing the hell out this.” 

Dorcas patted her in the leg. “My kind of gal.” 

Alice smacked her shoulder. “How the fudge is that helpful?” 

“Can’t you swear, like a normal person?” 

“You know I can’t! It goes against my principles!” 

“Do you even know what principle means?” 

“ _ Girls _ ,” interrupted Mary disapprovingly. She turned once again to the recently single witch. “Look, the wound is already there, you might as well let it bleed.” 

Lily frowned, confused. “That’s a terrible metaphor. Of course I’ll cover the wound with band-aids. You make no sense.” 

“Wounds need air once in a while,” said Dorcas. 

Lily glared at her. “I thought you were on my side.” 

Dorcas shrugged. “I’m on the side of the facts.” 

“Correction,” said Alice. “She’s on the side of being a git.”

“Are we done here?” There was a small, concealed tone of irritation in her voice. “Because I’d really like to take a bath.” 

In the midst of standing up, Alice pushed her back down into the chair. Lily didn’t have time to complain before the other started explaining her sudden violent actions. 

“I come here with an message, actually. James Potter—” 

“Ugh,” interrupted Lily, scrunching up her nose. 

“Okay, not James Potter. The Marauders—” 

“Ugh,” repeated Lily once again. 

“Come on!” complained Alice, kicking the other lightly on the shin. Lily brought her shin close to her body, but kept her mouth shut. “The Marauders have officially invited us to the party they are throwing tonight. Now, I know we said we weren’t going to go, because you guys are boring—” 

“No. We weren’t going because we are still angry at Sirius for uninviting us from his last party.” All the girls’ expressions darkened whilst Dorcas made them recall that moment of their lives. “He said that whenever we were around, they got too distracted hanging around us to flirt with other girls, and that it was our fault they went through parties without snogging anyone.” 

Lily let out a sigh. “When will they realize? There is nothing attractive about the clear absence of a brain cell.” 

“Whatever,” said Alice, dismissing her friends’ arguments. “So, The Marauders have explicitly invited the four of us to their party, making our presence almost obligatory. At first, I thought you guys would hate the idea—” 

“We still do,” clarified Lily. 

“—but now, I realize, this is exactly what you need Lily.” 

“You might be right, Al.” A smile spread through Lily’s lips. “Punching a drunk James Potter in the face might be just what I need.” 

“I was talking about alcohol, but whatever makes you happy dear,” chirped Alice. 

“It’s all set then, we are going to the Marauders’ party.”

 

* * *

 

 

Lily Evans had to admit, a bit reluctantly, that the Marauders knew how to throw a party. 

Ever since Sirius Black stumbled across a room titled “The Room of Requirement”, (Lily wasn’t sure how this happened, but she was sure she wanted to know nothing about it), back in fourth year and shared his findings with his friends, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew and James Potter — otherwise known as the Marauders — they made it their priority to exploit it and abuse it till the very end. You see, the Room of Requirement was quite handy for performing mischief and breaking rules right under the teacher’s noses and if there was one thing the Marauders were good at, it was just that. Every opportunity they got, every single excuse that crossed their minds, they used it to throw a party. 

And  _ what  _ a party. 

There were lights of every shade and colour, flickering over the dance floor. A large group of Hufflepuffs, Ravenclaws and Gryffindors (the Marauders enjoyed living up to the usual Slytherin versus Gryffindor stereotype and never bothered to invite them) swayed their hips in the middle of the room. Some girls had already disposed of their high heels and were holding tightly onto their cups as they danced to the beat of the music. Behind them, Lily could spot a long, wooden table, multiple alcoholic beverages messily scattered around. 

A tall lanky boy with chestnut hair, approached her, a big smile on his face. “You made it,” he said, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek. 

Lily wanted to reciprocate the greeting, but found herself stepping away and scrunching up her nose. “Merlin, Remus, you reek.” 

Even though Lily had previously shown herself disgusted by the mere mention of the Marauders, she had to admit her hate for them wasn’t as pure as she claimed it to be. After all, Remus Lupin was a member of the Marauders, and there was no way she could ever hate Remus Lupin. Not only was he her fellow prefect, study partner and friend, but the wizard handed out free chocolate whenever exams were near.  _ How could she ever hate chocolate?  _

He reduced the repulsion she felt for the Marauders almost by twenty-five percent. The others, even though not hateable (except, maybe, James Potter), didn’t exactly improve the statistics. 

“The question,” said Remus, handing her a red cup, “Is why aren’t  _ you  _ reeking?”

Lily laughed. “That’s definitely not the question.” But she took the cup anyway. “What is this?” 

Remus shrugged. “Hopefully, something that will get you drunk.” 

She raised her eyebrows, smirking at him. “Remus Lupin, are you planning on taking advantage of me?” 

“Of course, there’s no way you’ll let me shag you otherwise,” he joked. And then, with certain seriousness: “But besides that, I think that you could use it.” 

“You think that I could  _ use _ harming my liver beyond repair?” 

“I meant the other aspects of alcohol. Y’know, the part where you forget where you are, your name and… recent break ups.” 

“Subtle.” 

“I try.” He shifted, a bit uncomfortable, and gulped.  “Fabian — he told me… if you want to talk about it… or if you want me to punch him in the face —” 

With that, Lily drained the contents of her cup. “I want you, Remus Lupin.” She grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, startling him. “I want you to shut up. I want you to avoid naming him at all costs. And I want you to give me more alcohol.” 

“I can do that,” he said, cheery about not having to punch Fabian Prewett  — who was much larger and skilled than him — in the face. “Come with me.” 

A faint frown fell over Lily’s face, but before she could question his intentions, he was already dragging her across the room. For a second, in her mind, a flash of previous events appeared. _ I think we should take a break _ . She shook her head, allowing the thought to fly away. She wasn’t about to ruin everyone’s party with her stupid emotions. 

They reached the home-made bar, even though it looked more like a buffet for raging alcoholics than a bar. Remus gestured with his hands towards it, raising his eyebrows. Lily had to acknowledge that it was quite impressive. All kinds of alcoholic beverages, from magical to muggle, stood one next to the other neatly. Without thinking too much about it, Lily wrapped her hand around a Smirnoff bottle. In a matter of seconds, she had already drained three shots, without giving Remus any time to object. 

He didn’t seem to want to, though. 

“Really, Evans?” asked a voice from behind her. “Muggle alcohol?” 

Knowing all too well who was talking, Lily took another shot before turning. “Yes, Black. It’s muggle alcohol.” 

Sirius Black, the third member of the Marauders, scrunched up his nose.. “Disgusting.” 

“Your face is disgusting.” 

“So mature,” he said, rolling his eyes. “I mean it though. Firewhiskey is much better than vodka.” 

“How about you let me get totally pissed without commenting on it?”  

Sirius raised his hands above his head, as to indicate innocence. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were such a party girl.” 

“There are a lot of things you don’t know about me.” 

Sirius shook his head. “No way. I know everything about you.” 

“Oh, really?’ Lily chuckled. 

“Of course, we’ve been friends for years.” 

“No we haven’t,” said Lily. “I’ve been friends with Remus for years. I’ve just began to tolerate you.” 

Remus put an arm around Lily’s shoulders and smiled triumphantly. “Suck it, Black.” 

“I’m hurt, Evans. I just want you to know that.” 

“Great, then we can get drunk together.” 

“I like the way you think,” grinned Sirius, reaching out for a bottle. 

Lily found that she actually enjoyed talking to Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. She stayed there for a while, right next to the bar, chatting with them and drinking as much alcohol as her body could bare. Lily was born with high resistance. It took many shots to get her drunk. 

That wasn’t the case for Sirius Black. 

About half an hour into the party, Sirius was sitting on Remus’ shoulders, singing a one-man rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody at the top of his lungs. Lily laughed so hard she thought her lungs would burst. She had to admit, even though Fabian still wondered at the back of her mind, Sirius and Remus did a good job at keeping her distracted. Sober she wanted to punch them more often than not  — drunk? They were hilarious. 

Then, of course, something interrupted the fun. 

And as someone who was never comfortable with the concept of “fun” to begin with, it was no surprise “something” meant “Dorcas”. “Hey Lils,” she said, tugging on her sleeve. Lily was still looking at Sirius, who was now trying to juggle (and failing) five shot glasses at the same time. 

“ Hey Lils, I need your help.”

Only then did Lily realize Dorcas was standing next to her. She looked at her and then looked back at the guys. It would take all of her force and good will to walk away from drunk Sirius. 

“Lily,” insisted Dorcas, raising her voice a bit. 

A bit reluctantly, Lily allowed Dorcas to pull her away. “What’s wrong?” she asked, trying her best to conceal her annoyance. 

“It’s Mary,” said Dorcas with no further explanation. 

She dragged Lily all the way to the bathrooms (the ones inside the Room of Requirement, of course) and ignored all of her questions. Once they were inside, she stopped in front of one of the cubicles, signaling for Lily to open the door. Lily shot her a questioning look but followed through. 

Inside Mary Macdonald was kneeling right next to the toilet, her hands against the bowl, gagging sounds coming out of her mouth along with a rotten substance. A few tears seemed to be rolling down her cheeks as she tried to shake the hair of her face. Her t-shirt was stained and she seemed not to realize Lily and Dorcas were standing behind her. 

“Oh, Mary,” was all that Lily said as she rushed to her side. She kneeled next to her, holding her hair back with one hand and rubbing her back with the other. She looked at Dorcas. “How much did she have to drink?” 

“Not much,” answered Dorcas quietly. “But you know her, she can barely stand a glass of firewhiskey without passing out.” 

“Shit.” 

Mary slowly lifted her head from the bowl, wiping her mouth with her hand. She coughed a few times. “I’m sorry,” she croaked. 

“It’s okay Mare, don’t worry about it,” said Lily, squeezing her shoulders in a comforting manner. “Let’s get you cleaned up.” 

“I’m sorry I called you,” said Dorcas, helping Mary stand up. “I know you were having fun and you know  — not thinking about it —”  _ A break.  _ The image popped into Lily’s head and she was unable to shake it away. To be honest, she was never not thinking about it. “— but you know how to handle this situations better than me.” 

“It’s okay Cas, I’m glad you called me.” With the swift movement of her wand — 10 ¼ inches, Willow, unicorn hair — Mary was all cleaned up. She guided her towards the sink, so that she could drink water. “Where’s Alice?” 

“You really want to know?” Dorcas raised her eyebrows suggestively. “She was snogging Frank Longbottom.” 

“You’re kidding.” 

“Nope.” 

Despite herself, Lily let out a laugh. “Finally. He has fancied her since forever.” 

“Some of us are single forever, others have their hearts broken, others get alcohol poisoning and a lucky few have the Head Boy of Hogwarts crushing on them.” 

“That’s basically it,” said Lily with a chuckle. She shifted her focus back to Mary. “I’ll take her out for some air. You go check on the couple.” 

“I don’t think Alice is having too much of a bad time.” 

“I’m not worried about Alice. I’m worried about Frank. She might manipulate him into wearing spandex suit with sequences on it.” 

Dorcas nodded, as if realizing the gravity of the situation. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.” 

A few minutes later, however, the two girls had already left the party and were roaming the dark corridors of the castle. 

The journey from the Room of Requirement to the Gryffindor Tower wasn’t too complicated, since they were both in the seventh-floor. Still, neither Lily nor Mary could afford making too much of a show out of it. They had to remain silent, hidden in the shadows. Getting caught out of bed past midnight  _ and  _ drunk could cost them a month’s worth of detentions. 

Neither of them had any interest in getting in trouble. Both of them had a reputation to uphold — Lily as the brilliant, responsible student and Mary as her kind, lovable friend — and neither of them wanted to change the way their teachers looked at them. It was an image they had spent years cultivating. 

Leaving the party was a good choice. Once they left all the sweaty teenagers and cigarette smoke behind, Mary started to come to her senses. She didn’t need Lily’s support to talk anymore and actual coherent sentences started to come out of her mouth. Of course, Lily would’ve preferred for her to wait until they reached the common room, but she was happy her friend was feeling better nonetheless.    


“I’m— I’m sorry,” apologized Mary, her voice tired and raspy.    


“I told you to not worry about it.”    


“It’s just— I saw Eric.”    


“You always see Eric, Mare, you partner with him at Divination.” 

“Yes but I saw him snogging another girl,” Mary explained, as if that justified everything.    


“Oh,” was all that Lily said. “That sucks.”    


What if she saw Fabian snogging another girl? Would she stand that? Was that even allowed it they were on a break?    


Mary nodded at Lily’s comment. “It does.”    


Eric Montgomery was a six-year Hufflepuff. He was tall, had ash blond hair and was a tad scrawny — but attractive nonetheless. Mary fancied him. She had fancied him for ages, ever since they partnered in Divination (which neither Lily nor Eric’s usual partner, Benjy Fenwick, took). Mary had tried really hard to get over him, but there was nothing she could do. Her crush never seemed to waver.  **  
**

“Well maybe if you just told him how you feel—” Lily suggested, but she was cut off by Mary almost immediately.   


“No. No way.”    


“But if you did—”    


“He’d never choose me Lils!”    


“How can he choose you if he doesn’t know you’re an option?”    


“Ladies,” boomed a voice behind them. “Hasn’t anyone taught you watch the volume of your voices?”    


Lily and Mary came to a halt. As an instinct, Mary grabbed Lily’s hand. The air around them suddenly felt cold as they heard footsteps approaching them. 

Gulping, both of them turned around.    


There was no teacher behind them, not that they were surprised. It was worse, much worse.    


They were five. Four Slytherins — Severus Snape, Valentina Avery, Marlene McKinnon and her boyfriend, Isaac Mulciber — and a small Gryffindor boy — Peter Pettigrew (otherwise known as the fourth and final Marauder). Mulciber, the one who had spoken, was grabbing Peter harshly by the wrist, a mischievous smirk in his face. Mary’s face drained of any colour the moment she saw him. Rumours revolved around him. Some said he practiced Unforgivable Curses on first-years whilst others said he once killed his pet cat just for the hell of it. Mulciber wasn’t exactly the kind of bloke anyone wanted to cross.    


Too bad he wasn’t too fond of Lily and Mary, on the note of them being muggleborn and Gryffindor.   


“Peter!” exclaimed Mary before she could stop herself. She then looked up to Mulciber in fear. Mary didn’t know if the rumours about Mulciber were right or wrong, but her first-hand experiences with the boy hadn’t been good.    


Peter had bruises in his face and a small cut just below his eye. Mulciber tossed him to the ground, right before Mary’s feet. Mary was quick to help him up and dust the dirt off of him. With her wand she started healing his wounds. Valentina tried to stop her, but Lily came between them, glaring at her.    


“What did you do to him?” Her voice was demanding, steady. Her heartbeat, however, had picked up.    


“Oh, just a little punishment for not inviting us to this party he’s hosting…” said Valentina, looking down at her nails it as if it were no big deal.    


“But you knew all about that, didn’t you?” asked Mulciber, inching closer. Lily stepped back. “Where’s the party?”    


“I don’t know what party you’re talking about, but the four of you should leave. Now,” warned Lily, taking a hold of her wand.    


“The four of us, huh?” Marlene McKinnon raised her eyebrows with fake innocence. “Even Severus?”    


Lily flinched. She hadn’t spoken to Severus Snape ever since their fight, about a year ago. She didn’t hate him, not as much as she hated the others at least, but she wanted nothing to do with him. Their friendship couldn’t go on, not when they held such different ideals. (Meaning that he supported a magical Hitler who wanted Lily and all of her kind dead, but no biggie).    


“Yes,” she hoped the Slytherins hadn’t noticed her hesitance. “Even Severus.”    


Marlene nodded, a smile on her face. “I guess you two have truly broke up. A shame, really, you made a wonderful couple. I’ve always enjoyed stories about prohibited love.”    


“That’s enough Marlene.” Severus put a hand on her shoulder.    


Marlene grinned. Not a happy grin, but a rather wicked one. “Oh, don’t tell me you still care about her? And the plot thickens.”    


Severus ignored her comment and turned towards Lily. “Lily just tell us were this stupid party is and leave.”    


“Tut-tut,” Mulciber interrupted him, stepping in front of him. “I don’t care what sort of history you have with her Severus, but I’m not letting your girlfriend go that easily.”    


“Great,” said Lily, putting her wand down. “Because we’re leaving anyway.”    


Mulciber grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her towards him. Their faces were merely inches away from each other. Lily could examine each fraction of his face with detail — his sandy blonde hair and snake-like features. She could feel his breath against her face.    


“Leave her alone!” screamed both Mary and Peter from behind her, but it was useless. Mulciber, who had been previously entertained by Peter, didn’t pay any attention to them.    


“Let. Me. Go.” Lily’s voice was low and threatening. She had raised her wand one more time.    


“Or what?” He inched even closer.    


“Or I’ll hex the living shit out of you.”    


To be honest, Lily wasn’t that interested in hexing Mulciber. Not that he didn’t deserve it, but she knew that a duel would surely catch Filch’s attention and then she’d be doomed. Besides that, she knew that the second a spell left her wand another one would be shot towards her friends — what she didn’t know is how far the Slytherins were willing to go. She knew she wouldn’t do anything too damaging, she had morals.    


She doubted Mulciber or McKinnon had any.    


“Terrifying, really,” he said with a dry chuckle. With his free hand, the one that wasn’t around Lily’s wrist, he grabbed her face. Lily tried to shake him away, but he was stronger than her. “You know, I think I can see what Severus, that Prewett boy and Potter saw on you. You might be a mudblood, but you’re not  _ that  _ bad for a quick shag.”    


“Really? You’re doing this in front of your girlfriend?”    


Then, it happened.    


Marlene pushed Mulciber away from Lily, almost knocking him to the ground in the process. For a second, Lily thought that Marlene was siding with her, that she had finally gotten sick of her boyfriend’s behaviour. It was just for a second, though, because the look that Marlene sent her wasn’t very friendly. Fire seemed to be dancing in the iris of her brown eyes.    


“Listen to me, you filthy mudblood, my relationship with my boyfriend is not a concern of yours, understand?” She dug the tip of her wand into Lily’s chest. 

“Now I want you to tell me where the fuck this party is taking place so we can let you walk away.” Lily tried to move her wand but Marlene stopped her. “A single movement and you’re off to the Hospital Wing.”    


“I don’t know which party you’re talking about,” said Lily between gritted teeth. “I was just taking a walk.   


“You see, that sucks,” said Marlene, an innocent smile on her face. “Because now I have to curse you.” She raised her wand into the air. “  _ Stup _ —” Lily closed her eyes, awaiting for the curse to hit her. She remained in that position for a few seconds, but nothing ever came. She only opened her eyes when she heard Mary shriek.    


The first thing she noticed was two bodies lying on the ground unconscious. Mulciber and Marlene where lying next to each other, their eyes closed and their wands on the floor. The second thing she noticed was Marlene’s head was bleeding from its impact against the floor, and that Valentina was kneeling next to her in an attempt to heal her. She had always been a thick girl, Lily doubted she would be able to accomplish anything. 

The third thing he noticed, however, was the worst. James Potter was standing behind the two bodies, hands on his hips, gloating as if he were _ fucking superman _ .  

Lily was overwhelmed by the whole thing. “You— you—” 

“You can thank me later, Evans,” said James, grinning. “I’ll figure out a way how.” 

“What have you done?” 

James looked startled by the reaction. “What?” 

“Are you really as thick as I think you are?” She looked at Marlene on the floor.  A small lake of blood started building around her, almost shining in the darkness. It got tangled in her blonde hair as colour slowly drained from her face. Before reacting Lily took a moment to look at her. There, lying down, she looked so peaceful. So innocent. So far from the Marlene McKinnon she knew. She wasn’t intimidating anymore, she wasn’t scary. She was just a girl. 

She then turned to Valentina Avery. “Look, Avery, you should take McKinnon to the Hospital Wing.” 

“Right, so I get expelled?” 

“Merlin, just say she tripped down the stairs. She’s your friend, damn it.” Despite herself, Avery obeyed. She then turned towards Mary and Peter. “Mary are you feeling better? Good. Take Peter to the common room and try to heal his bruises.” Mary followed her instructions and dragged Peter away from the scene. She then turned to Severus. “Severus, could we talk for a moment before you take the git you have for a friend to the dungeons? I’d rather we did it quickly before any teacher shows up—” 

“What?” James asked, blinking multiple times, perplexed. 

“Oh,” there was slight disgust in Lily’s tone. “You’re still here.” 

“Of course I’m still here! I just saved your life!” 

 

_Maybe, before continuing, there are a few things you should know about James and Lily:_

 

James Potter had messy black hair, dark skin and a strong jaw. Girls often found him attractive. Lily would too, if it wasn’t for all the stupid shit that came out of his mouth.   


James Potter wore spectacles. Lily couldn’t remember the last time she had seen him without them. Apparently they were more than a fashion statement.   


James Potter was the Quidditch Captain of the Gryffindor Team. Of course Lily knew this. Everybody knew this. It’s not as if James would let them forget it. He was quite skilled on top of a broom, even though Lily would never admit it out loud.    


James Potter also had a knack for Transfiguration. He was McGonagall’s favourite. Lily hated him for that.  _ She  _ was supposed to be the teacher’s favourite. Not him. All he did was get detentions and prank innocent students.    


James Potter used to be a bully. He used to hex Slytherins and Hufflepuffs who had done nothing wrong, just because of the colours of their ties. Lily noticed he had changed his ways though. He now only hexed them when they were being arseholes (which happened more often than not). That did not mean she forgave him for what he used to do.    


James Potter had feelings for Lily. Kind of. Whatever sort of feelings he had had (even though Lily was convinced he just liked getting on her nerves) faded along with his bullying tendencies. In the same way Lily’s hate for James faded along her friendship with Severus.

That didn’t mean, of course, that they had stopped bickering.    


Every chance he got to irritate her, James would take it.    


Ever chance she got to yell insults at him, Lily would take it.    


They tried to be cordial to each other, but they were still James and Lily — the Gryffindors could barely stand them anymore, really.

 

_So now, we continue:_

 

“Look James, I don’t mean to be rude —” 

“Oh, now that I know it’s not intentional I feel much better,” he said dryly. 

Lily glared at him but tried to remain calm. Her day had been awful. The last thing she needed was a fight with James.  “Look I’m grateful for the gesture, but you didn’t help nearly as much as you thought you did.” 

“Really? So preventing Marlene McKinnon from cursing you isn’t helpful?” 

“Like I said before,” said Lily slowly, losing her patience. She never had much patience for James Potter. “I appreciate the gesture. But almost killing a girl because you can’t control your impulses doesn’t help as much as it guarantees us a detention.” 

“You’re kidding, right?” 

“Just go, James. I have to talk to Snape.”    


“So you’re angry at me but not at him? He wasn’t defending you for all I know!”    


“You weren’t defending me either!” whisper-yelled Lily. She was now standing in front of James, her patience long gone. “You just saw a chance to hurt a Slytherin and you took it.”    


“That’s not it, and you know it!” James argued, inching closer, whisper-yelling as well. “Merlin, you think you are so above everyone else.”    


Lily dug her finger on his chest. “I think I’m above  _ you _ , which is  _ very _ different,” she spat.    


“You know what, next time I’ll let her kill you.”    


“It’s not about saving my life or not, Potter. It’s about how you do it. I don’t want my life saved if a girl almost dies in the process.”    


“And how would you save your life then?”    


“Diplomacy.”    


James scoffed. “They don’t understand diplomacy. They don’t care about diplomacy. They just care about themselves.”    


“Funny,” said Lily, a sweet, innocent smile appearing on her face. “Reminds me of you.”    


“What’s that supposed to mean?”    


“You think you’re better than them, but all you ever do is stoop down to their level. Harming someone isn’t noble, Potter, it’s the easy way to solve things. It’s the  _ Death Eater  _ way of solving things.”   


“You’re being ridiculous,” James said, crossing his arms above his chest. “You can’t win the game unless you play the game, Evans.”    


“Potter you draw smiley faces on your pancakes each morning. Thanks for the life advice but I’m not taking it.”    


James rolled his eyes. “And to think we were finally getting along.”    


“My bad. I didn’t realize you were the same arrogant idiot that you were last year.”   


“And you’re just the same self-righteous bore.”    


“And to think I was cordial to you… for what? You’re the biggest git in the world.”    


“I know that’s supposed to be a compliment, but the world has seven billion people. Being the biggest git out of all of them is a huge achievement.”    


For a fraction of a second, the corner of Lily’s lips tugged upwards. She then returned to her usual scowl. “Congratulations. Now leave.”    


“Not until you thank me,” said James stubbornly.    


“You’re right, thank you.” James was pleased, even though he couldn’t quite believe Lily had done what he asked her to do. “Thank you, Potter,” Lily  repeated. “Thank you for guaranteeing us a detention. Thank you for almost killing a girl in my name. Thank you for meddling into my business when I didn’t ask you to do so.”    


“Your business? Not everything is about you!” James’ blood was boiling by now.    


“Oh, I’m sorry— wasn’t it my life that you saved?”    


“Fine. Have it your way.” James eyed Severus, who was awkwardly standing next to an unconscious Mulciber, waiting for James and Lily to be over. “I’ll  leave you and Snivellus alone. Slughorn will be thrilled you two are friends again.”    


Lily turned towards Snape as if she had just remembered he was there. She then turned back to James, in hopes of having the final word, but he was long gone. Still, she considered it a win. At least not  _ everything  _ had gone horribly that way.    


Severus coughed, catching her attention. She gulped. She wanted to talk to Severus, she just didn’t know why or about what exactly. After losing Fabian… well, part of her needed to know she wasn’t losing everyone. Even though she had lost Snape a long time ago.    


“We should make this quick,” suggested Severus, “I can’t believe Filch hasn’t showed up yet.”    


“He always checks on the seventh-floor first, so he must be somewhere else by now,” explained Lily quietly.    


“Oh.”   


An awkward silence flooded the area. Lily fidgeted with her hair, tugging and pulling and twisting it around. She tried not to stare directly at Severus, but she couldn’t help the occasional glances. He caught her eye. She quickly looked away.    


“You’re braiding your hair,” Severus pointed out.   


“I am?” asked Lily, frowning, as if she had just realized this.    


“You always braid your hair when your nervous.”    


“I do?”    


“Well, you used to. Back when… back when—”    


“—back when you didn’t support a group of psycho elitists who want me dead?” completed Lily a little bit dryly. This time she didn’t try covering it up. She had her gaze fixed on Severus. She needed to know. She needed to know if he displayed any sort of emotion when talking to her.    


“Is _ that  _ what you wanted to talk about?” At the moment, he only seemed to be feeling annoyance.    


“No,” answered Lily quickly. There was a small pause. “Well, maybe. I don’t know.” Another pause again. She gulped. “Would you have done anything?”    


“What?”    


“If Marlene hadn’t come between Mulciber and me would you have let him do… whatever he wanted to do.” A shiver traveled through Lily’s spine just thinking about it.    


Severus pursed his lips, as if the answer needed thought. “I don’t think so.”    


“You don’t  _ think  _ so?”    


“Well your friends, Mary and Peter, would’ve done something before I could,” he explained. 

“Mary was drunk and Peter was hurt.”    


Severus nodded slowly, processing the information. “Then I guess I would’ve done something. We’re not friends anymore, but I still care about you.”    


“You do?” Lily seemed to be happy by this.    


“As far as I’m concerned Lily, nothing will ever happen to you.” Hesitantly, he grabbed her hand.    


Lily didn’t pull away. That’s what she needed, to know she wasn’t losing absolutely everyone in her life. Fabian was gone, but at least she still had part of  Severus.    


But then… she just  _ had  _ to ask. She knew she wouldn’t like the answer, but she had no other choice.    


“What about Potter?” she asked all of a sudden.    


“What does Potter have to do with all of this?” Snape frowned, clearly disliking the fact that she brought him into the conversation.    


“He’s a blood traitor isn’t he? Would you let anything happen to him?”   


 

“James Potter can jump of a cliff for all I care.”    


Lily rolled her eyes, realizing he was not the best example. “What about Mary, then? She was kind of your friend too, wasn’t she? I mean, the two of you have been my best friends since the begging of time…”    


“Yes, so?” pushed on Severus impatiently.    


“If you had been there the day that… well the day of the incident… you know, with Mary and Mulciber— would you have stopped it?”    


This time, there was another pause. Only it was longer than last one. Severus looked down at his feet, his black, greasy hair covering the whole of his  face. Then he looked back up, to find a frowning Lily. She looked dissapointed with the time he was taking.    


“I don’t… I don’t know.”    


“You don’t know?” Lily stepped back, pulling her hand away from his. She was shaking her head with disbelief. “You don’t know?”    


“It’s not like James Potter never did anything—”   


“What? This isn’t about James Potter. This is about  _ you  _ Sev. This is about the person who you have become.”   


“Come on, Lily. We were actually chatting.”    


“Just… forget this. Forget this ever happened. Go take care of your friend.”   


He reached out for her wrist, but she moved it quickly. She didn’t even spare a second glance his way before walking away. What were her intentions, really? How did she really expect that t o go?    


It had been an awful day. She needed to go to sleep. 

 

* * *

 

 

James walked into the common room with smoke coming out of his ears. His face was red and his nails were digging into his palm with force.  _ What the hell was wrong with her?  _ He clenched his jaw. Without thinking too much about it, he threw a pile of books that were sitting on a desk to the floor.    


“Woah,” said a quiet voice. James looked up. He hadn’t noticed Mary Macdonald sitting on the sofa. “You alright there, mate?”   
He looked around. There was no sign of Peter. “Where’s Peter?”   


“Off to sleep,” Mary explained. “Is there any reason why you’re throwing books around?”    


“I— I hate her.”    


“Lily?” asked Mary. James nodded. “I doubt that.”    


James walked over to where she was sitting at let himself fall onto the red couch. For a second, she wished the cushions would swallow him whole until he dissapeared. Mary looked at him curiously, smiling a little bit.    


“I do. I swear to Merlin I do.”    


Mary narrowed her eyes at him. “You hate the girl who you’ve asked out a million times?”    


James nodded. “Yes. She’s fucking insufferable.”    


“I didn’t know you knew any big words. Well done, Jamey.” Mary patted his head, just the way a teacher congratulated a five year old.    


“I didn’t know you were a bitch. Aren’t you supposed to be the nicest girl out there?”    


Mary giggled and nodded. “I am. But I am also a little bit drunk.”    


James chuckled. “What was that, by the way?  _ You know  _ you can’t bare more than a glass of firewhiskey.”    


“Everyone does, apparently.”    


“Well, we’ve been friends forever.”    


“Have we, though? I’ve been friends forever with Remus, and Peter, and Sirius, and Alice, and Lily, and—”    


“Basically anyone but me?” James cut her off, raising her eyebrows. “I guess I just assumed you hated me, since Lily did. I mean, Alice and Dorcas have  always been my friends but… well, you and Lily have always been the closest ones.”    


“Lily doesn’t hate you,” said Mary in an attempt to comfort him. James sent her a look that told her he didn’t believe her one bit. “Okay, maybe a little bit. But she doesn’t hate you as much as she pretends to hate you. It’s just that you’re the only person she openly allows herself to dislike, so she takes it all out on you.”    


James sighed. “Great. I’m Lily Evans’ punching bag.”    


Mary pursed her lips. “Yeah, it’s kind of sad when you want to be her boyfriend.”    


“I don’t want that. Not anymore.”    


“Really?”    


“Yes. She doesn’t feel that way about me, so I’m done wasting my time, y’know?”    


“I  _ wish _ I could do that,” lamented Mary Macdonald, dropping her hands against the sofa in an attempt to enhance her melancholy.    


“Why? You like someone?”    


“I do actually, he’s the reason why I’m in this… state.”    


“Who do you like?”    


“Eric Montgomery.”    


James scrunched up his nose in disgust. “Really? Him?”    


“Yes, _really_. He snogged another girl at the party. It was awful.”    


“But does he even know how you feel?”    


“Of course not.”    


“Then how can he choose you if he doesn’t know you’re an option?” Mary giggled at his comment. “What?”    


“You just remind me of someone, that’s all.”    


“Well is he handsome?” James raised his eyebrows, wrapping his arm around Mary’s shoulders.    


She laughed. “You bet.”    


“Then I can understand the resemblance,” said James with his signature crooked grin. Mary smacked his shoulder, drunk giggles leaving her lips. “You’re so full of yourself.”    


James chuckled lowly. There was a small pause. “We definitely have the most terrible luck with our men and women don’t we?” He inched a bit closer. Mary didn’t stop him.    


Mary smiled weakly. “Hmmm… I think we need to find someone new.”    


“I like the way you think.”    


“I like your eyes,” she blurted out all of a sudden. It was true though, James Potter had the prettiest hazel eyes.   


“I like your nose.”    


“I like your lips.”    


“Good.”    


If you told Mary and James they would be kissing at the Gryffindor common room earlier on the day, they would’ve laughed at your face. But now? Now they were a little bit drunk, a little bit heartbroken and a whole lot angry at life.   


So they kissed.    


And then kissing moved onto something else in a hidden part of the common room. Both of them knew they would regret it the morning after. Both of them knew they were making a terrible decision. Both of them knew that what they were doing was wrong, prohibited. Both of them knew that the consequences would be terrible. They just didn’t know  _ why  _ — so neither of them came up with an actual reason for which they should stop.    


Until they were interrupted by a shriek.    


_Lily’s_ shriek.    


Suddenly they both remembered.    


For some twisted, weird reason Lily Evans was the why. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm not completely satisfied with this, but I want to post it already, so here it is. 
> 
> I KNOW the ending is horrible and very confusing but don't worry, there's more horrible and confusing chapters coming. 
> 
> Thanks to everyone who left kudos and comments!


	3. A Series of Unfortunate Events

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I have a problem: after writing the first chapter of any WIP I get another idea and start writing another thing. That's why I didn't update. I forgot this even existed. But now I'm back baby. Enjoy. 
> 
> PD: Remember, I'm from Argentina. English is my second language. Please, feel free to point out any mistakes as long as you do it kindly.

The moment they heard the scream — which was, undoubtedly, Lily's — Mary and James rushed downstairs. Their minds were occupied with worries about their friend (well,  _ her _ friend and the girl  _ he _ used to fancy and now wishes he could hate), but still neither of them could find the courage to look each other in the eye. James wasn't quite sure how he felt about what had just happened. He wasn't quite sure  _ what _ had just happened. Hell, he didn't even know  _ how the fuck _ they ended up in a dorm. It wasn't even his. All he knew is that the moment they broke apart, a feeling started growing in the pit of his stomach. 

They pulled away, their breaths heavy and hair disheveled. A tense silence filled the room, as realization dawned on them. Sobered up, Mary didn't look half as confident around James as she had seemed to be earlier on. She lowered her gaze, a red tint taking over her cheeks. She stepped off the bed, covering her body with her arms, even though James looked away, and threw her clothes back on. 

James felt a pang of pity for the girl. They might have not been the closest of friends, but James knew Mary. At least he knew her well enough to realize that handling awkward situations wasn't a skill of hers. 

"Er—" Mary lifted her face to look at him, even though she still refused to meet his eyes. "That—that was Lily, wasn't it?" 

There was something wrong about mentioning Lily after what they had done. Maybe it was the fact James had been pining after her for most of his Hogwarts career, or that she was Mary's best friend, or that Mary was convinced James still fancied Lily. Maybe it was all of those things combined. Maybe it was neither, and James was overthinking the whole situation. 

The expression on Mary's face, however, told him he wasn't the only one. 

The uneasy feeling that had installed in the bottom of his stomach intensified. He clenched his jaw. He was just hungry, that's it. He had skipped dinner whilst planning the party. He was just hungry. 

"Yes," he answered finally. "We should go check if everything's okay." 

Mary nodded. "I'll go first." 

James understood what she meant. If both of them walked down the stairs that led to the boys' dorm at the same time, Lily would get suspicious. Mary disappeared out the door before he got to reply. 

Letting out a sigh, James started to throw his clothes on. He tried to remember what had happened, but all the images in his head blurred together, blending in a messy fashion. A part of  him felt nauseous. He even considered rushing to the toilet and vomiting. Two things stopped him: first, he was too curious to see what had happened with Lily; second, he couldn't do that out of respect to Mary. 

He was still to figure out how she felt about the whole thing, and he didn't want to embarrass her by throwing up a few minutes after shagging. (The thought of using the word Mary and shagging in the same sentence made him cringe, but the aforementioned reason kept him from doing so). Even if she never found out, Mary was his friend. Sort of. He couldn't do that to her. 

After the right amount of time had passed, James run downstairs. 

The first thing James noticed was the two girls, standing one besides the other. There was something off about both of them. The usual fierceness that glowed in Lily's green eyes — the one that James used to be so enamored with a few months back — was nowhere to be seen. Her rosy cheeks had drained of any colour. Mary stood frozen besides her, eyes wide and lips parted. They were both staring at something before them. 

James realized what unsettled him about their expressions. They were expressions of fear. 

He followed their gazes, in hopes of discovering what was provoking such emotion in them. It took him a few seconds to spot it, but once he did it was clear as the day. Written in a colour that resembled blood was a message. Bold, messy letters were scribbled across a large wall, blending into the scarlet decorations.

FILTHY BLOOD SHALL TAINT THE FLOOR OF THOSE WHO PROTECT THE UNWORTHY. 

Suddenly, the girls' frightful expressions made sense. Of course Lily would scream, of course Mary would freeze, of course they would be scared. They might've as well threatened their lives directly. They were muggleborns, after all. 

James didn't know what to do. He stood behind them, clueless, not bothering with making his presence known. Comforting them wasn't an option. Partly because Lily would bite his hand off if he dared to touch her, and partly because he would never find the right words to say. He could try to make them feel better, he could side with them, and he could defend them. But at the end of the day, James would never understand. He would never understand why a simple message affected them the way it did, or how could a simple sentence provoke such fear in them. He would never understand what if felt like for them, what it felt like to have his life threatened because of their families' origin. James was a pureblood, and no matter how much his family resented typical pureblood traditions, his privilege would always be there.  

There was nothing he could say to make them feel better. 

So, in a moment of confusion of frustration, James did what James did best — he let his impulses guide him.  

 

* * *

 

"So you're telling me that you hosted a party — a  _ tea  _ party — at midnight, that is, for anyone over the age of fifteen who wasn't a Slytherin — at a location you refuse to reveal, of course — only to encounter a group of Slytherins roaming the corridors later that night and witnessing how both Marlene McKinnon and Isaac Mulciber casually tripped and fell unconscious." 

She wore perfectly ironed emerald green robes, a pointed hat that tipped to a side and her usual stern expression. Her lips were pursed into a thin line, her slender fingers tapping against her desk. She glared at him through her spectacles, and he shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He felt as though she was piercing his skin with her eyes. 

It was James' sixth year at Hogwarts, and the way Minerva McGonagall looked at him when she was furious had always been the same. It never stopped having an effect on him, though.  

He opened his mouth to argue, but she continued before he could get his point across.

"I'm not finished, Potter," she said, her voice booming with authority. Not that anyone would ever doubt Professor McGonagall's authority. "You then walked into your common room, forgetting about the party because — you said, and I quote —  _ the tea had upset your tummy _ — only to be woken up by Lily Evans' shriek upon finding a terrifying, muggle-hating message scribbled on a wall. Then, instead of doing the smart thing like Evans and McDonald did — which was, in case you were wondering, looking for me — you ran after the aforementioned Slytherins and broke Severus' Snape nose." There was a small pause, and McGonagall examined James' face with detail. "Something doesn't add up." 

And she was right. 

"Well, if you put it like  _ that _ ..." was all James said. All he  _ could _ say. 

He couldn't tell McGonagall he and his friends had hosted a party with alcohol. That would get everyone in trouble. He couldn't exactly confess he had almost killed McKinnon, unless he was hoping to get expelled. He couldn't tell her he never went back to the party, not because he felt sick, but because he was too busy shagging Mary Macdonald. He wasn't about to have the sex talk with his Transfiguration teacher, thank you very much.

The only thing that he could tell her (with a bit of pride) was that the moment he read the message, he dashed through the portrait hall and went looking for the Slytherins he had previously encountered. Almost as an immediate reaction, his fist met Snape's nose, resulting in a loud  _ crack.  _

"Do you see this?" McGonagall removed her hat and pointed at her tight bun. Her black hair was decorated with grey strings. "I am in my early forties, Potter. No one my age has as many grey hairs as I do. No one. Do you know who I blame for that?" 

"Uhh..." James offered her a small smile, "...bad genes?" 

"I blame you. And Black. And Lupin. And Pettigrew. Why can't you stay out of trouble, for once?" 

"If it makes you feel any better, grey suits you."

It had been a dumb comment that would only anger her more, James knew that. But James also had a hard time stopping himself from voicing the first thought that crossed his mind. 

He gulped, trying to fix the situation. "I'm sorry Professor, but what did you expect me to do?" McGonagall raised his eyebrows at him, as if saying  _ I can think of a bunch of things you could've done.  _ "What I mean is—" James was quick to correct himself, "there was a message in my common room threatening my friends lives based on— on something as stupid as blood purity! And you know it was the Slytherins! What were they doing in the seventh floor at three in the morning, if not? And— and what was I supposed to do, huh? Just— just sit there and let them get away with it?" He stood up, slamming his hands against the desk in a display of anger. "Those Slytherin cunts deserve **—"**

"Sit down, Potter." 

James looked down at his teacher. Her features had hardened, her lips almost vanishing. Once again, James had let anger rile him up, and had been unable to watch his words. He was doomed. 

"I'm sorry, Professor—" 

"Sit down," she repeated. James obliged. McGonagall let out a sigh. "Look, I'm not saying I don't understand where you're coming from. In my younger ages... maybe I would've done the same thing." James frowned at that. He couldn't say he had expected her to yell. McGonagall wasn't one to yell, she preferred destroying her enemy emotionally. Still, he wasn't expecting to meet an understanding side of her. "But you have to understand James, you can't just punch people in the nose and expect to get away with it." 

"But—" 

"There's no buts, Potter. Mulciber and Snape spent the whole night in the Hospital Wing. McKinnon is still there. You can't go around punching people in the nose. It's a fact, not a suggestion." James nodded, clenching his jaw but refraining from saying anything. "However, just this one time, because the circumstances are so... dreadful... let's pretend I believe you." 

"What? Really?" 

"Let's pretend I believe you met with the half the students just to drink tea, and that McKinnon and Mulciber fainted all of a sudden, and that the tea made you feel sick. You'll still have to endure a few detentions — not more than three, I guess — for the Snape incident, but that's about it." 

James couldn't believe what he was hearing. He was trailing down a dangerous territory. He had to proceed with caution, choose his following words carefully. Not once, in his entire life, had he seen McGonagall let anyone get away with any sort of rule breaking. It was a complete new side of her. What should he do? Express how grateful he was? Compliment her? Keep his mouth shut? Ask her to adopt him? 

But James did neither of those things. "Why?" he asked, regretting his words the second they left his mouth. Why was he questioning it? 

McGonagall took a second to think of an answer. "Because," she started slowly. "Because this message... it's the start of a new era at Hogwarts. There's only so much we teachers can do to keep the war away from our students. And we need students like you, Potter. Students that are willing to fight for the right thing, even if they're still figuring out the right way to do it." 

James nodded. "Well, I know I'm not a prefect or anything of that sort— but you can count on me to help, if you ever need it." 

Despite herself, McGonagall smiled. The corners of her lips tugged upwards, creating an expression that felt foreign on the teacher's face. "Thank you, Potter. You may leave now." 

James smiled back, and left the room, an unsettling feeling on his chest. Part of him was relieved to know he had avoided a whole lot of trouble, but another part of him, a small, yet persistent part, felt uneasy about the situation. The fact that McGonagall was willing to pretend that James hadn't broken as many rules as he had the night before was out of character for her. It meant something was wrong, deeply wrong. Something that McGonagall was refusing to voice. 

But he didn't have much time to reflect on the conversation he had had with the Deputy Headmistress, because the second he left her office, he had to face a brand new problem. 

Mary Macdonald was waiting for him on the other side of the door, fidgeting with her hands and staring at him nervously. Suddenly, James felt like running back into McGonagall's office and demanding to have an extra detention right now. Anything was better than talking to Mary. 

Don't get him wrong — James wasn't the type of boy who spent nights with girls and then forgot about them the morning after, not unless the girl was fully aware they were having that type of encounter — but he wasn't sure he wanted to keep a relationship with Mary. What if she did? What if she wanted to be his girlfriend? What was he supposed to do then? He couldn't hurt her. She was the friend of his friends... she was  _ his _ friend. 

"James." She breathed, as if she wasn't expecting to see him walking out of McGonagall's office. "Remus told me I could find you here." 

"Uh, yes— McGonagall wasn't too fond of a few things that happened last night." 

"Who would've thought?" Mary chuckled, but it sounded forced. "Er— if you're busy, maybe we could find another time... or maybe you don't want to, and that's okay but— but is it okay if we have a talk? Please?" 

James couldn't say he was surprised by her request. He nodded. She smiled brightly at him. She looked a bit more relaxed than before. Only a little bit. 

James followed her into a corner, neither of them wanting the whole corridor to listen to their conversation. 

She let out a small cough. "Er— look— last night... last night felt wrong—" she then stopped, eyes widening as she realized what she had said. "Not in that way! You were fine— er— great— but I mean, you and me, we don't fit together.  _ We _ felt wrong."

Mary examined his reaction, worry written all over her face. But James took a minute to answer. 

"Thank Merlin," he said suddenly, letting out a huge amount of air he didn't know he was holding. "Don't get me wrong, Mare, it's not that I don't think you're pretty or nice or anything, but last night was fucking weird." 

"Agreed," Mary beamed, not taking the comment as an offense. She stretched her hand out to him. "Friends?" 

He shook her hand, his signature crooked grin stretching across his face. "Friends." 

"And let's keep this between us, yeah?" 

"You're telling  _ me _ ? I don't think you'll be able to resist telling everyone you had the honor of shagging the fittest boy in the whole of Hogwarts—" 

Mary rolled her eyes. "And we're back to normal." 

James draped his arm around her shoulder. Not in the way he did to girls he liked, but in the same way he hugged Alice and Dorcas and all of his friends. "You bet we are." 

  

 

* * *

 

 

To say Lily wanted to die would be an understatement. Lily wanted the ground to swallow her whole. Lily wanted to change her name to Liliana Martinez and apparate to Colombia. Lily wanted to dig her own grave and bury herself. Lily wanted to jump off the Astronomy Tower. Lily wanted a vengeful Mulciber to appear and Avada-Kedavra the fuck out of her. Lily to dive head-first into a shark-infested pool.

She was standing in the middle of the corridor and she couldn’t remember how she got there — all she knew is that she wanted to get the hell out.

"Lily, are you alright?" 

"I'm fine," she said, a small (fake) smile appearing on her face. 

Fabian looked uncomfortable. He shifted in his place, rubbing the nape of his neck with his hand. Still, he offered her one of his classic smiles — the ones that produced two dimples at each side of his lips and made Lily's heart skip a beat. 

She tried to ignore the churning feeling in her stomach. 

"That's good to hear." 

"Why do you ask?" she inquired casually, tucking her hair behind her ears. She forced her muscles to relax, hoping he wouldn't notice the way she had tensed up when he approached her. 

"Well... last night couldn't have been fun, could it?" 

"The party wasn't  _ that _ bad. I mean, I know that enjoying a Marauder party goes against everything I stand for, but come on — how am I supposed to resist a one-man rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody by Sirius Black?"

Fabian chuckled, but then he returned to his worried expression. "That's not what I was talking about." 

Of course, Lily knew that. She was smart enough to realize Fabian wasn't talking about the party. In fact, he was talking about every single event that happened the day before  _ except _ the party. But Lily wasn't about to talk about it with him, so she allowed herself to play dumb. 

"Oh," she let out, as if she hadn't expected his answer. "Then what were you talking about?" 

"About... about that whole thing with McKinnon... and that message you found later on." 

"News travels fast, doesn't it?" Lily asked dryly. 

"James told Sirius, who told Frank, who told Gideon, who told me," he explained. 

Lily pursed her lips together. "Look, Fabian, I really don't feel like going into it." 

"That's okay, I guess." Lily met his eye, hoping that maybe the conversation would end. But Fabian didn't seem to have the same wishes as her. "But— but Lily I want to be there for you. What you must be going through— you must feel so  _ unsafe _ ." 

"Don't be ridiculous," she scoffed. Fabian furrowed his eyebrows at her and she tried to bring some warmth back to her voice. "I'm fine, really. Nothing happened last night." 

"But... but everything with the Slytherins and with James..." he argued, weakly. 

"The Slytherins were a bunch of gits, and somehow Potter managed to be a bigger idiot than all of them combined. The usual." 

Lily felt a little bit guilty for lying to Fabian. Truth is, the message had had a greater impact in Lily than she cared to admit. 

The words hadn't stopped swiveling through her mind. The implication that someone in Hogwarts — that one of the faces she saw each and every day — wanted her and every other muggleborn dead  _ was _ scary. It was scary to think that she might be in the same room as a potential Death Eater (she'd rather not think that any of them were already working for You-Know-Who) at all times. The moment Lily saw that message written on the wall, she didn't feel safe at all. 

He nodded stiffly. "I just wish I would've been there when you found it."

Lily's heart melted a little bit. But she didn't let it show. 

"Thanks," she replied. "But there's no need. We're not dating anymore, are we?" 

Fabian didn't answer. Silence, Lily thought, was much worse. She needed to get out of there. She couldn't talk to him. She couldn't look at him. She couldn't smile at him and pretend everything was fine. 

It hurt way too much. 

"We're not," Fabian said finally. "But I never got to explain—" 

"I'm sure you have your reasons," interrupted Lily. "It doesn't matter." 

"It does matter, Lily. Could you please stop being so stubborn?" 

"I'm not being stubborn, Fabian. I'm fine. I told you already." 

"You're always fine!" 

"Is there a problem with that?" 

"I still care about you, Lily—" 

But something stopped him before he could continue. Two girls appeared next to Lily, linking their arms with hers. Lily recognized them immediately as Dorcas and Alice, and was suddenly very grateful to have them as friends. 

Alice beamed at Fabian. "Good morning, Fab!" Alice and Fabian weren't exactly friends, and Lily doubted they were anywhere near the nickname-basis, but Alice had a tendency to treat everyone as if they were her best friends. 

"Prewett," greeted Dorcas, nodding. Her tone wasn't cold, but besides Alice she sounded like an iceberg. "Did you read about the Montrose Magpies match?" 

Dorcas wasn't a friend of Fabian's either. Their relationship consisted solely of chatting about Quidditch — her being the Quidditch Captain of the Ravenclaw team and him being a beater for Gryffindor. Fabian, even though a bit confused about the question, opened his mouth to answer.

"Did you do anything to your hair?" blurted out Alice, all of a sudden. 

Fabian frowned at her. But once again, before he could answer, the two girls continued rambling. 

"You should read the article in the Daily Prophet—" 

"It looks amazing—" 

"Their strategy was very interesting—" 

"Have you ever considered dyeing it—?" 

"I always thought their chaser was the best—" 

"I could do it myself—" 

"But you should read it yourself—"  

"Purple would do wonders on you!" 

"I'll lend you my copy." 

Once they were finished, Fabian looked at the two of them like they had a three eyes each or a second head sticking out of their necks. He blinked, wondering whether they were done or not, and  _ how the fuck _ was he supposed to answer. 

"Uhh... sure." An uncertain smile appeared on his face. 

"Great!" exclaimed Alice. "Now if you don't mind we'll have to take Lily with us." 

"Actually—" 

"I'm  _ so _ glad you understand!" 

"But I—" 

"No buts!" said Alice, in her constant cheery tone. "We need to go to Transfiguration!" 

Fabian frowned. "It's a Saturday." 

A hint of panic crossed Alice's face, but she recovered quick enough. "And we're gone— bye, bye!" 

Alice and Dorcas dragged Lily away, their arms still linked, and leaving behind a very confused Fabian Prewett believing that Lily's friends were positively bonkers. They made their way into the Great Hall to have lunch, directing her to the Ravenclaw table. They couldn't risk sitting with the Gryffindors and encountering Fabian once again. 

"That conversation looked positively awful," explained Dorcas, sitting across Alice and the redhead. "We needed to save you." 

"Thank you," said Lily. "You're the best." 

Even though the red and golden details of her uniform looked out of place in the Ravenclaw table, no one questioned her. They might've done so a few years earlier, but they didn't bother with it anymore. It was already an established fact that neither Lily nor any of her friends cared about being from different houses. It wasn't odd to find Lily and Mary having breakfast with the Ravenclaws or Alice and Dorcas sitting around the Gryffindor common room — even though the latter happened more often than the former. 

"He wanted to talk about everything that happened yesterday." 

"The let's-take-a-break part or the creepy message part?" asked Alice, pouring orange juice into her cup. 

"Both." 

Alice cringed, taking a sip of her orange juice. "Ew." 

"I know," said Lily with a nod. 

"What did he say?" asked Dorcas. 

"Something about me feeling unsafe..." 

"And you told him you were fine, weren't you?" A wide grin spread through Dorcas' face when Lily nodded. "You're so predictable." 

"First of all, fuck you," said Lily pretending to be offended. "Second of all, I don't want to talk about me." 

Alice furrowed her eyebrows, taking another sip of her orange juice (Alice loved orange juice). "Then what do you want to talk about?" 

"About Frank Longbottom." 

Alice spat what she had been drinking, draining not only all of her meal, but a very angry girl sitting across from her. A very large, orange stain started to grow on Dorcas' white shirt, her face soaked in juice. She glared at Alice through a droplet that hung from her eyelash. 

Alice widened her eyes with fear and gulped. She awaited Dorcas' reaction, but the prefect took her sweet time deciding how to react. Alice knew this was much worse — in her mind Dorcas was already developing a back-up plan to have her killed (assuming she took only ten seconds to decide on plan A). 

Alice made eye contact with her, trying to figure out what exactly was going on in her mind. Without looking away from her, she handed her something. "...Tissue?" she offered, in a scared voice. 

"Alice Maria Zimmerman I am going to murder you." 

"I know," Alice nodded, as if she had expected nothing else than to die at the hands of Dorcas. "Can I at least finish my orange juice first?" 

"You know," said Dorcas, leaning in threateningly. "I've taught myself how to brew three deadly potions that look  _ exactly _ like that orange juice." 

Normally, when someone tells you they've coincidentally learnt how to brew three deadly potions that resemble the drink you're having, you don't believe them. But Alice had been friends with Dorcas Meadowes to know that there was a great chance she wasn't lying. She remembered the three-month-long obsession she had had with deadly potions back in fourth year quite clearly, and she had no interest in finding out just how effective her studying methods were. 

Alice pushed her glass away from her. "Please make it quick. I'd like to die with some dignity." 

"You don't have any dignity," said Dorcas with a scoff. "And I intend to make you suffer." 

Alice gulped. "Does it help if I say sorry?" 

"Not really, no." 

Lily, who had been laughing at the whole situation, decided it was time to step in. "Look, Dorcas, if you want to kill Alice I won't tell you not to do it." Alice looked a bit offended, but Lily didn't bother herself. "But don't  you think we should at least hear her love story with Frank first?" 

Dorcas muttered something under her breath as she wiped her shirt. Lily took it as a yes. She nodded at Alice, saying something along the lines of  _ you better start talking _ with her face. Alice blushed. 

"It's not so much of a love story..." she said. "We just made out. It wasn't a big deal." 

"Alice, last week you started crying because you had accidentally killed a butterfly. Everything is a big deal for you." 

"That butterfly had done nothing wrong!" argued Alice. Then, gaining back her composure, she added, "Besides, we were both drunk. I barely remember any of it." 

Lily popped a chip in her mouth. "I don't buy it." 

Alice let out a huff. "Fine," she agreed. "I haven't stopped thinking about it." 

Lily grinned. "Knew it." 

"I mean... I kissed Frank Longbottom! No— I didn't  _ just _ kiss Frank Longbottom— we snogged all night! And— and— and— I never thought I'd think of him this way, because I never thought of him as an option. I never thought he'd be interested in me!" Alice was probably the most oblivious person in the whole world. Anyone with a pair of functioning eyes could tell Frank was head-over-heels for her. "But now I can't stop thinking about him. Has he always been this fit? Or nice? Or smart? He's the Head Boy! The fudging Head Boy kissed me! I mean— he'll probably be the next Prime Minister. I'll be able to tell my grandchildren stories about how I kissed the Prime Minister." 

Lily almost told Alice that she doubted Frank would become Prime Minister just because he was the Head Boy, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. The way she was smiling, the light in her eyes, the redness in her cheeks — Alice was happy. With the awful time she had been having, Lily couldn't allow herself to disrupt her friends happiness. 

Of course, that wasn't the case for Dorcas Meadowes, who scoffed at Alice's delirious ideas. 

"The day that Frank Longbottom becomes Prime Minister is the day I'll— ow!" Lily kicked Dorcas under the table, shutting her up. 

Alice let out a gasp, as if she had just realized something of great importance. "What if he doesn't like me back? What if it was all just a kiss for him? What will I do then? I'll have to go back to being his friend and pretend nothing ever happened. How am I supposed to do that? I'm screwed. He doesn't fancy me. Of course he doesn't— he's the Head Boy! The future Prime Minister!" 

Alice didn't stop because she wanted to. If it were up to her, she'd ramble on and on about Frank for days. The task became harder, however, the moment Dorcas started throwing apples at her. 

"Stop spiraling, you freak." 

Alice glared at her. 

"What Dorcas means," corrected Lily in name of her friend. "Is that you don't know any of that. All you know is that you kissed Frank, and until you've talked it out with him you won't know what he thinks about any of it." 

"Exactly," agreed Dorcas. "It's a waste of time to get upset over something uncertain." 

Alice narrowed her eyes at Dorcas, chucking the apple back at her. "I know that you don't get it because you're a robot, but for most people nothing about feelings is certain. They aren't an exact science, y'know?" In fact, Alice herself didn't know. Coming from a pureblood family, she didn't know the first thing about science or its exactitude. It's just a phrase she picked up from Lily and Mary whenever they were criticizing Dorcas for her coldness.  

" _ Everything _ can be explained through an exact science." 

"Not  _ everything _ , Cassie." For a second, however, she doubted her words. She turned to Lily. "Right?" 

Lily nodded. "Right." 

"First off, don't call me Cassie, I hate it," said Dorcas. "Second, I have written a twenty-five-point argumentative essay that explains why everything can be answered through science. We could go fetch it—" 

"Or we could  _ not _ do that," suggested Lily. 

"I'm a woman of science," Dorcas shrugged. 

"No shit." 

The three of them would've probably continued arguing, which was one of their favorite group activities to engage in, hadn't it been for a fourth member that joined the conversation. It wasn't exactly a member they had expected — like, say, they'd expect Mary, Frank, Fabian or any of the Marauders — but a younger Ravenclaw girl neither of them had ever spoken to before. 

"Um..." she started quite nervously. She seemed to a first year, and intimidated by the girls' age. Lily thought she was rather beautiful. Locks of platinum blonde hair tumbled over her shoulders and her baby blue eyes looked at them with certain nervousness. "I'm sorry to interrupt," she started to explain. "But aren't you two prefects?" 

Dorcas and Lily shared a glance before the former answered, "Yes, why?" 

"I— I found this  _ thing _ . I thought I should report it to someone, but all the teachers seem busy. I'm not sure what it is or what it means— even though it was rather horrible— because I'm... I'm a muggleborn, you see, so I still don't quite understand a few things around here." 

The girl finished her explanation, fidgeting with the sleeve of her light pink sweater. A warmth took over Lily's chest. She liked to think that her position as prefect gave her the chance to help lost younger students.  "What's your name?" 

"Emma." 

"Would you like to show us what you found, Emma?" 

She nodded, giving them a small smile. Lily stood up and took the girl's hand. Dorcas stood up as well, ignoring the silent complaints Alice sent towards the two of them through facial expressions. She was halfway through eating a steak and kidney pie, and had no interest in leaving the Great Hall. Not being a prefect herself she found her friends' duties boring. 

Still, when she noticed neither of them were going to stay behind with her, she followed them out of the Great Hall, thoughts about food lingering in her mind. 

Young Emma guided the three girls through a set of twisting corridors ⎯ not that it was any surprise, simplicity hadn't been on the founder's mind when they designed the castle. Eventually, after Dorcas and Lily shared a few glances, questioning whether the girl was just playing with them, they reached a small crowd. 

"Oh, I see other people have spotted it..." pointed out the girl in her usual soft voice. 

Neither Lily nor Dorcas paid any attention to her. Both of them made their way through the crowd, pushing students around. A few of them noticed they were prefects and made way for them. Most, however, were too busy chatting loudly among each other to notice the girls. 

Yet, Lily and Dorcas understood the commotion once they realized why Emma had called them. 

In the middle of the crowd laid a pig.  _ Dead _ . 

It couldn't have been there for long. The rotten stench was barely present and there was no way in hell someone could've missed a giant, dead pig in the middle of the corridor for the whole morning. Someone must've planted it a few minutes earlier. It had a dagger stuck to its side, blood slowly spurting out, forming a puddle in the corridor. Students stared at it with fearful expressions, some of them panicking at the sight of blood. 

A shiver traveled down Lily's spine. 

"Alright everybody," she clapped her hands together to get their attention, "I'm going to ask you all to go to your classes—" 

"Lily," someone interrupted. Lily stopped talking, her gaze turning to meet a Hufflepuff fourth-year. He was trembling slightly, his face pale. His finger pointed at the dead animal. "Look." 

That's when Lily noticed it. Stuck between the pig and the dagger, soaked in blood, was a piece of parchment. Magical black ink rose above the blood, depicting a word clear as day: MUDBLOOD.

Lily's heart stopped. 

For a second, she couldn't move. She stared at the message on the paper, the word  _ mudblood _ spinning around her mind. Her heartbeat boomed in her ears, the crowd's loud whispers drowning under a sea of blurry thoughts. The stream of blood reached her shoes, staining them. She looked down, horrified. Her heart thumped against her chest, her clenched fists shook as she dug her nails deep into her palm. 

Dorcas put a hand over her shoulder. "Lily— Lily we have to do something." 

She nodded absentmindedly. 

"Lily." 

Lily gulped, blinking a few times. She stepped away from the pig and looked at Dorcas. Her expression was much more collected than Lily's, but there was a hint of colour missing in her cheeks. 

"Okay. Okay. Okay," she repeated a few times, mostly to herself. "Okay. You stay here and try to control the crowd. I'll go find Dumbledore, alright?" 

Dorcas nodded. "Alright." 

"And Cassie? Please get the little kids out of here. They're too young for all of this." 

"I'll try," agreed Dorcas, pursing her lips. "But if you ask me, we're all too fucking young for this shit." 

Instead of answering, Lily dashed away from the scene. The audience was thicker now, layers and layers of students trying to decipher what was going on. A few of them tried to stop Lily for questioning, but she paid them no mind. Once made her way through the crowd she raced down the corridor, in search for McGonagall's office. 

She sprinted, going as fast as she could manage — Lily had never been one for sports, but this situation required for it. Such was her concentration on her goal and her speed, she didn't notice the boy who was walking in front of her until it was too late. 

She hit his chest with strength, and fell backwards on her bum. 

A colourful string of curse words left her mouth. She ran a hand through her hair, frowning. Then, she cursed some more. 

A laughter interrupted her swearing. "Alright, Evans?" 

She looked up to meet James Potter's hazel eyes. He was wearing a short-sleeved black t-shirt that looked obnoxiously good on him and his equally obnoxious crooked grin. His arms were crossed above his chest as he looked at the girl in front of him with amusement. 

Besides him stood Mary Macdonald, who contrary to James, immediately stretched her hand out to Lily to help her out. 

"No. I'm not fucking alright, Potter," she muttered. 

"I can see that." 

"Then why the fuck are you asking?" 

"I was looking for an explanation, you see, as to why you were running down the hall like a complete maniac." 

Lily narrowed her eyes and looked at Mary. "Can I kill him?" 

"I advice against it," replied Mary with a nod. "But I won't stop you if you do." 

James frowned at her. "Hey! I thought we were friends now!" 

"Friends?" Lily asked, horrified. " _ Shit _ . As if I don't have enough with Alice and Dorcas and— wait, it doesn't matter. James, you're a git and I hate you. Mary, I love you. I need to go now, so bye." 

Lily attempted to continue her race down the corridor, but James grabbed her wrist, making her stumble backwards. 

" _ Potter _ ," she complained. "I said I need to go. Now." 

"You still haven't explained yourself," he protested. 

"I don't owe you any explanation—" 

"I think you do after bumping into me like that—" 

"This is fucking urgent, Potter—" 

"See? It's not like you to swear—" 

"Can you be any more annoying—?" 

"I can try if you want me to—" 

"Merlin!" Mary smacked both Lily and James behind the head. "What the hell is wrong with you two? Lily, just tell us what's wrong!" 

Lily bit her lip. "Fine," she agreed. "This girl found a dead pig in the middle of the corridor." 

" _ What? _ " 

"Yeah... it had this dagger stuck in it's stomach... and this parchment that said... well, it said..." 

"What did it say, Evans?" 

"...you'll find out about it later." 

" _ Evans _ ," James insisted. 

Hesitantly, Lily continued, "It said mudblood." 

There was a small pause. The three of them exchanged glances, processing the news. Lily started playing with her hair. She realized she should be running off to McGonagall's office, not waiting for Mary's and James' reaction. 

"That's fucked up," said Mary, breaking the silence. "First the message and then this..." 

There was another pause before James spoke: 

"I'm going to kill those Slytherins." 

And then he started walking away. 

"Wait, Potter!" Lily yelled after him. " _ Fuck _ . This is why I didn't want to tell him. Shit. Okay, Mary can you look for McGonagall and tell her to go to the corridor near the Charms class? I need to deal with this git." 

Before she could receive an answer from Mary, Lily was already running after James. She caught up to to him and put a hand on his shoulder in an attempt to stop him. James just shrugged her off. Frowning at him, she put her hand on his shoulder again and jerked him backwards. 

She stood in front of him and looked up at him in defiance. Their difference in height made the situation quite comical, but both of them were too irritated to notice. 

"What are you doing?" she questioned, hitting him on the side of his arm. 

"What are  _ you _ doing?" 

"I'm preventing you from doing something stupid." 

"Something stupid? Something stupid?" James repeated, bewildered. He raised his hands in exasperation. "Evans those Slytherins are threatening muggleborns. They are threatening  _ you _ . If murdering them is stupid then you're goddamn right I'm about to do something stupid." 

"You're not about to do anything," corrected Lily, jabbing a finger on his chest. "You're going to go to your next class, cool off and stop harassing Slytherins." 

"Harassing Sly—? Lily they planted those messages!" 

"Did they?" Lily asked, crossing her arms above her chest. "Please, enlighten me, James. How do you know that?" 

"I—" James trailed off thinking of an answer. Failing, he stomped his foot against the ground. "I just do!" 

"Good luck explaining that to the jury after you murder someone." 

"Okay. I won't murder them. I'll just maim them, severely." 

"Good luck explaining that to Dumbledore, then. I surely won't mind having you expulsed." 

"Dumbledore will understand. He knows they're guilty." 

"No he doesn't!" Lily exclaimed. "And neither do you! You have no evidence whatsoever and are just getting yourself into trouble!" 

James narrowed his eyes at her. He looked at her as one might look at a really complicated math problem or philosophical question.  "So? It's obvious they did it! They're Slytherins!" 

"You're basing yourself on their house?" Lily asked, as if she was disgusted by his approach. "Haven't you ever read a Sherlock Holmes novel?" 

"Sher— what?" 

"Sherlock Holmes." 

"That's somebody's name? Merlin, poor bloke." 

Lily stared at him for a second, thinking that maybe, just maybe, James Potter was the stupidest man on earth. "Whatever," she said finally. "What I mean is that you can't base yourself on that. You need evidence." 

"Why?" 

"Why?" she echoed. "Because then you'll get in trouble, whoever has done this will get away with it, the threats towards muggleborns won't stop and the Slytherins will get an undeserved beating. You have to think before you act Potter."  

"Now you're just being ridiculous," scoffed James, looking away. 

"You're the one being ridiculous," Lily said. 

"You're not my babysitter, Evans. So now, if you excuse me, I'll like to kick some Slytherin arse." He walked around Lily and continued down his path. 

"Merlin, you're just like them!" she called out behind him. 

James spun around, glaring at her. "Excuse me?" 

"I said you're just like them!" she repeated. "You think you're better than them but you're not! You're violent, and aggressive, and you judge people on stupid stereotypes and things they can't control! Like, I don't know, what house they're sorted into." 

"Evans, did you hit your head when you fell earlier? Are you having some sort of concussion?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "You know I'm right." 

"At least I'm doing something about it... you're just sitting on your arse all day, allowing it all to happen!" 

"Sitting on my—? How dare you?" And before James could do anything about it, Lily's palm hit his cheek. "How fucking dare you? I've just found not one but two messages threatening every muggleborns’ life, including mine. There's a whole world out there full of people who despise me just because of my family. And you accuse me of... of just letting it happen? How fucking dare you?” James clenched his jaw and pursed his lips at the sight of Lily’s tearful eyes. “The fact that I’m not running around cursing random Slytherins doesn’t mean I don’t plan on doing anything!” 

James knew it was time for him to shut up. He knew that Lily was right, and that he had stepped over a line. James knew all that. He knew that he should either apologize or remain silent. He knew there wasn’t a point in continuing the argument. 

But then again, James had never been one for keeping his mouth shut. 

“And may I ask what are you planning to do?” 

“Yes.” But Lily took a few seconds sorting out her thoughts before continuing. Taking a deep breath, she regained her composure and continued with her answer. “I plan on finding whoever has been doing this. I plan on leading a thorough investigation until I reach a logical evidence-based conclusion.” 

James scoffed. “And when you reach that conclusion, what are you going to do? Give the Death Eater a detention? Ask him politely to stop threatening muggleborns?” 

“ _ No _ ,” said Lily. “Then I’ll— Then I’ll call  _ you _ to break his or her nose. That’s the only thing you seem to know how to do, anyway.” 

James looked taken aback by the answer. He furrowed his eyebrows at her and opened his mouth, but not a single sound came out. Lily raised his eyebrows at him expectantly, waiting for him to refute her master plan (which she had just thought of to prove him wrong).

When James finally settled for an answer, something interrupted him.  

“Lily! James!”

Both Lily and James turned to find Head Boy Frank Longbottom running up to them. His small dark eyes seemed to have a growing desperation in them and his usual smile replaced by a nervous twitch. He was paler than usual and his black hair was disheveled. He looked like a total mess. 

“What’s wrong?” 

“Um— I— Um—” Frank stuttered. He seemed lost with his own thoughts. 

James put a hand on his shoulder. “Frank, mate, what’s wrong?” 

“McGonagall wants all the prefects in her office.” 

“Oh, is it the pig thing?” questioned Lily, somehow relieved that nothing new had happened. 

“What pig thing?” asked Frank. 

James and Lily shared a glance. “Then what are you talking about, mate?” asked James. 

“Emmeline Vance.” 

“What about her?” 

“Someone tried to kill her.”

 

And just when you thought things couldn't get worse. 


End file.
